A Blessed Easter

We attended a wonderful and beautiful Easter service. The sermon was based on an email I had received where a little girl emptied her piggy bank and a surgeon happened to hear her story and went home with her. He performed a free surgery on her brother to save his life. Not sure all emails we receive are true but I would like to think this one was.

My elderly grandmother seems to be having some confusion. This is very upsetting because she wants to talk about wanting to die and telling God that she wants to die. I keep reminding her that we are to be in God's will, not our own. She gets confused and says things that seem to indicate she does not fully think things through. For most of her adult life she has been a dedicated Christian and never did one thing before praying about it. This is just not her and it's sad to watch. I am praying that this will pass and she will return to the loving and pleasant grandmother I grew up with. My father was in the military and we spent many years living with her. Later we built a house around the corner from her. She was always the one in our family who dispensed love. It is hard to think of letting her go when the time comes but I know when the time comes the Lord will get me through it.

Good Friday

Today is Good Friday and the day Jesus was crucified. It's hard to take it all in sometimes. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be born, knowing you were waiting to lay down your life to redeem the souls of others. HE knew from the start how His life would end but he lived a life, without sin, and when the time came, he laid His life down so that we could have eternal life. In my human state, I can not comprehend being able to do that. I know that He knows all about ME. He knew all that I would do before I did it but gave me free will to do it. Then, when the time came and I asked for forgiveness He was there ready to give it.

At times when I have been so very low physically I have thought of the suffering that Jesus endured, not just for me but for each and every person. One day in particular as I lay in my bathroom (of the first house I ever owned) throwing up nonstep from radiation, skin burned so badly under my arms from the radiation and my young son was demanding attention I almost was tempted to pray that my suffering would end. Then it hit me. What was my suffering compared to what HE suffered? I felt so overwhelmed by that sacrifice. I then asked Him to help me, give me strength and courage so that I could face what I had to, let it go when the time came and go forward living life and cherishing it. He answered that prayer for me. I don't always get a yes to everything I ask for. I do always try to accept that whatever answer I get, it is given to me with love of a parent and with knowledge of what I truly need, and not necessarily what I want. Today I stop and think about that great sacrifice and once again, I say thank you Jesus.