Good Friday

Today is Good Friday and the day Jesus was crucified. It's hard to take it all in sometimes. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be born, knowing you were waiting to lay down your life to redeem the souls of others. HE knew from the start how His life would end but he lived a life, without sin, and when the time came, he laid His life down so that we could have eternal life. In my human state, I can not comprehend being able to do that. I know that He knows all about ME. He knew all that I would do before I did it but gave me free will to do it. Then, when the time came and I asked for forgiveness He was there ready to give it.

At times when I have been so very low physically I have thought of the suffering that Jesus endured, not just for me but for each and every person. One day in particular as I lay in my bathroom (of the first house I ever owned) throwing up nonstep from radiation, skin burned so badly under my arms from the radiation and my young son was demanding attention I almost was tempted to pray that my suffering would end. Then it hit me. What was my suffering compared to what HE suffered? I felt so overwhelmed by that sacrifice. I then asked Him to help me, give me strength and courage so that I could face what I had to, let it go when the time came and go forward living life and cherishing it. He answered that prayer for me. I don't always get a yes to everything I ask for. I do always try to accept that whatever answer I get, it is given to me with love of a parent and with knowledge of what I truly need, and not necessarily what I want. Today I stop and think about that great sacrifice and once again, I say thank you Jesus.