Introductory Post

Today I have decided to start a journal of faith, and perhaps some other things. I have been reading so many wonderful journals that have inspired me and I wanted a place to talk about my faith in God, my beliefs and perhaps learn a little more about my journey as I write down what has already happened.

My story began when I was 22 years old and the mother of a two year old very active little boy. I had been married for a few years before he was born and for about a year I had been tired all the time. I went to several doctors but had been diagnosed as having mono. When I found a lump in my neck I was told that swollen lymph glands are a part of mono and nothing to be concerned about. A few months later in the middle of the night, I awoke to stabbing pains in my back. I actually looked to see that I had not been stabbed, that is how severe the pain was. My mother came to stay with my son and I went to a local emergency room. They did xrays and gave me a shot of demorol which actually stopped my heart, I lost consciousness and awoke to profuse vomitting. They sent me home telling me I had torn a muscle, and yes, my lymph nodes still indicated that I had mono. What will happen next is so rare and looking back, I can only say it was God's hand upon me. Roughly a week later, I received a phone call from a doctor who had seen my xray. He had called the internist who was caring for me and told him he was very concerned about what he saw. The internist told him, as he had me, that I was worried about nothing and I just had mono. This doctor (may God always bless you doctor for taking such a chance, and if you are wondering if he knows YES I have contacted him and told him that he helped to save my life) told me that I needed to see another internist as soon as possible and have further testing done. About this time, my husband came home with the announcement that his health insurance had changed and he had joined an HMO. I was not happy about that at all but our costs would be so low and he pointed out I had spent a lot of money that past year trying to find out what was wrong with me. Other than being told I was anemic and needed iron supplements and being told about the mono nothing had been done to help me. I reluctantly made an appointment with the HMO and a wonderful internist, Dr. Thurston. The first time he saw me he was very concerned. He sent me for an xray and concurred that something was wrong. He set me up for a tomogram which would show the layers and depth of my chest. He called me in after receiving the results and gave it to me straight. He told me I either had leukemia (and because I had been sick for so long that would have been the worse prognosis OR I had a lymphoma.) There was a tumor in my chest and I needed to have a lymph node biopsied. I also needed a bone marrow aspiration but he didn't tell me that until I was admitted. Smart man. He set up a hospital stay and believe it or not, I was happy to KNOW that I was not crazy as the first internist had suggested but that I was sick. Perhaps now they would help me. It was now April and my son's third birthday was early May. I figured if I could just get through that party I would then be on my way to getting better.